Just like life (or love) in the time of cholera, it is hard to endure all that has been thrown at us these days, as well. While for some it is the fear of the virus itself that is crippling, for others social distancing is the most arduous aspect of it all and for others still, it is the worry of what’s to come after.
We have been on lockdown for two full weeks now and are facing an additional four at a bare minimum. EDIT: Two additional weeks have been added as of 1st April. No joke! While two weeks may not sound all that much (as in: ˝Two weeks of an all-inclusive hotel stay with childcare in the Carribeans is not long at all. You blink and it’s over!˝) it is enough to lose a sense of how many weeks have passed or what day it is. It’s also long enough for your previous way of life to seem far far away, forgotten and left in the past. However, I have found a few ways to keep myself sane and provide a semblance of normality for those around me. Although it may seem so at times, the world has not stopped; school is still on and so is work, despite its unconventional setting.
So, with a two-week experience under my belt, let me try and help you keep sane, as well!
We’ve tried to set a routine from day one. Our lockdown was announced on a Thursday evening and came into effect the following Saturday, giving us not much time for… anything, really. Although feeling quite adrift, I believed the only way to regain some kind of control and, hopefully, normality, was to imitate it. That’s why I sat down with the children, explained the situation and told them nothing changes as of Monday, except the place where they were going to be schooled. Then, once the children were in bed, I took pen to paper, wrote down our new schedule and stuck it to the wall. I made time for Maths and German, but also for often marginalised subjects, such as P.E., arts and crafts, home economics (which is what house choirs are called in a school environment). To keep the children busy and give the adults a fighting chance of getting any work done, we try to keep the children busy with virtual tours of the Guggenheim and Rijksmuseum, baking, reading, piano and chess practice, designing, making and writing of postcards to loved ones. Through all of this, we make sure to have time for free play and boredom, as well. The children have rediscovered old games they have not looked at for months (years?) and the adults have uncovered areas of the apartment in need of cleaning and rearranging, areas which existence they previously completely ignored.
I try to be flexible but having, at least theoretically, some kind of a structure to fall back on to and daily tasks to complete, gives the adults and the children in this house a direction to follow. I cannot stress enough what a difference having a sense of purpose has made for us!
If you’d like me to go more into detail about the schedule itself, what it includes and how we implemented it, do give me a shout.
Though not cold, this winter was long, moist and grey, with the sun opting for winter hibernation. Obviously, once quarantine was announced, the Sun took it as its cue to rise and shine. It has never left our side for the last two weeks and 22°C are announced for the following few days. Although all parks and playgrounds are off-limits, we still try to get our daily dose of vitamin D, mostly in our backyard. Keeping active in the fresh air, having a one-on-one football match or a scooter race with your child is a sure way to make you laugh!
One of the actual positive sides of the lockdown is more family time. Many of the other measures put in place in our household are to prevent utter chaos, physical or mental, while Saturday evenings spent on the couch with a bowl of popcorn, watching Mary Poppins or Willy Wonka is what we have never managed to do before but has become a staple now. Long walks just the four of us and afternoons spent in the company of Lego bricks is what fills the soul with light and hope.
Sleep! Let your children sleep in and give yourself that permission, as well. Times are tough but sleep is restorative. I have never had such a low need for coffee as right now even though, surprisingly, I wake up before anyone else in this house. The children have never woken up as late as they do these last few days, which means that most days they are late for school! But it’s all right, it’s a part of letting go and trying to distill the best out of the situation.
What I found utterly overwhelming the first few days, was juggling the increased amount of housework and meal preparation with the unexpected role of a teacher, while at the same time trying to keep up with my (language) school work. There are other projects and roles I have taken upon myself recently and I just felt as if I was drowning, not managing to keep my head above water. The day came and went without even half of the work that needed to be done, actually accomplished. As I have more time with the children now, I wanted also to spend quality time with them, do fun activities and just slow down a bit.
What I changed to prevent myself from going underwater was ask for help. Though physically present, Marko’s still at work officially and needs to put in his eight (ha! if only it was just eight) hours; however, there were two other little people present in the house, which I took full advantage of – emptying a dishwasher together became an opportunity to check in with my offsprings how they were coping with the situation (so far, so good!), baking break turned out to be an amazing lesson in chemistry (and home economics), making them in charge of folding laundry an exercise in responsibility. Involving them in daily tasks saved my sanity and made for more time together.
We managed to avoid TV, which I thought was going to be out pitfall, without much struggle for the whole duration of the confinement. In the last few days, however, other technological temptations have crept into our lives. The teachers have set up accounts for children on Google Teams to facilitate parent-teacher communication but mainly to have an easy way of delivering daily assignments to the pupils. The application, however, includes also a chatroom and video calling. And the children jumped right at it! Since this is a lonely time and school is also about building a community, finding your place in society and learning how to navigate your way among your peers, all of which has suddenly been taken away from them, I feel I can let my guard down and allow them to use my phone, tablet and PC extensively for school and their extracurricular activities.
Also, it gives me some peaceful, though definitely not quiet, downtime at the end of the day to just sit on the couch and maybe finally catch up with the news.
The state of affairs, though, is still exceptional which, I’m quite sure, causes deep bewilderment for most of us. Struggling mentally and emotionally despite all of our best efforts, despite every measure we have put into place to prevent it, despite being called ˝to simply sit on the couch for two weeks˝, despite our inability to justify the reason hiding behind the inexplicable perturbation and sadness; despite all of the above, this nagging sense of uneasiness in unavoidable and fully understandable.
But just as cholera, this too shall pass!
In the meantime, there’s always wine.
Cheers,
LARA