Week three was tough. The excitement of having more time to spend with my loved ones wore off and all the disruptions that a quarantine brings to our lives hit full force; there have been multiple canceled birthday parties and social gatherings, planned Easter holidays had to be given up with questions arising about when we’ll be able to see family and friends again. I am fully aware all of the above sounds like minor inconveniences but in the context of a worldwide pandemic coupled with the prospect of a massive recession waiting just around the corner your imagination can start running wild.
Although we kept our well-established routine, a certain restlessness set in and the fear of the unknown. In my case, it showed as impatience and the need to keep busy, while still missing deadline after deadline thanks to a mental fog that enveloped me tightly. Luckily, people are forgiving and compassionate. ❤
There were daily homeschooling tasks to be accomplished. For two children in different grades. In a language I do not speak. It took ages to decipher the instructions, even for a Math exercise, and I have to say I’ve become pretty close with Google Translate. But even before the deciphering part, there’s printing. So. Much. Printing. Forget toilet paper of canned goods, we should have stocked up on printer cartridges, which are sold out at the moment on Amazon or our local supermarket! After all of this, we’re still not done. Because the completed tasks are to be sent back to the teachers. At this point, I don’t know anymore what I have sent in for which child already so from now on I’m relying purely on guessing.
There was also the guilt. That now, when finally life had slowed down and there was nowhere to go but be home, together, quality time I spend with my children is at an all-time low. At the same time, the house is not any cleaner or more organised, quite the contrary. All the fun and educational activities being offered for free at the moment were very tempting – virtual tours of Uffizzi or the zoo, e-books and crafts I can do with my children; the list is never-ending. But after the whole day spent cooking, cleaning, printing, motivating, reassuring and scanning, all I wanted was a bit of reassurance, myself. Because what destabilised me most, was the uncertainty; how long is the present situation going to last, what will follow afterwards, will our old normality ever return? How much monitoring will there be in our every day, is a 12-monkeys scenario what awaits us? Does anybody have any answers?
And then, there are the children. They have been struggling on their own, as well, with spells of teary moments over major shifts that have happened abruptly to their day-to-day . They miss their life, their school and friends, their dance and karate lessons. They miss getting a pizza every Friday evening from our local pizzeria or mingling with others on the playground. And while Jakob doesn’t mind as much being schooled at home by me (apparently he’s asked to do less at home), Mia’s teacher has waaay cooler craft ideas than me.
We’re at the end of week four now, which has simultaneously been also the first week of Easter holidays over here, We’ve replaced the dining table for the garden one and moved most of our days outdoors since the weather has been merciful, once for a change.
By now I can barely remember the struggles of the previous week but I guess it’s all part of the ups and downs such unusual and never-before-experienced circumstances inevitably bring. Talking to friends, it emerged that a feeling of uneasiness and angst accompanies most of us through our days. Hence if you feel lost and apprehensive due to the current state of affairs, for one reason or another, know you’re not alone. And do reach out! You know where to find me.